Relationships & Clutter

elderly women playing a card game

Do you avoid having friends and family over because of the clutter? Is your home something you’re embarrassed of? Are you constantly finding excuses as to why someone cannot come to your house. In this lesson we are going to start decluttering to break free from the toxic relationship you have between avoiding loved ones and the mess that is beyond embarrassing.

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How Clutter Can Interfere With Relationships

The Current Situation

If the clutter in your home has become overwhelming to the point where you avoid friends and family from coming over, it’s evident that we must acknowledge and take action to change your current lifestyle.

Perhaps you are embarrassed, feeling shame, guilt or confusion. These are all normal feelings that come with too much of anything. What’s important is that we recognize what’s happening and do what we can to fix the problem. It may be that you just became an empty nester, you’re retired, elderly, downsizing because of the cost of housing, relocating, you move a lot, you’re going through a separation or a divorce and you want new vibes, your kids are getting older, you’ve outgrown the space, your visions aren’t matching your reality, etc.

Is it time for you to discover a new you. Perhaps your past lifestyle no longer fits your current situation and you need to declutter, let go of all the belongings you held onto for so many years. These are things we need to evaluate and consider when we’re looking to get rid of things.

How To Deal With The Mess

Downsizing to fit lifestyle– your current situation doesn’t have to be permanent but it’s important to recognize the here and now. What are you doing at this very moment to live comfortably, feel safe, and make you happy. Are you ready willing and able to adjust your past living situations to fit the current one you’re in. If so, let’s make the steps to let go, move on and begin our new journey. It’s crucial to know that new things won’t come into your life if you’re holding on to the past things. We must go forwards.

  • Plan Ahead– if you know where you might be in 6 months then start planning right now. Decluttering can be extremely overwhelming so we want to avoid the chaos, the stress and the cramming everything into one week or less. Do little things over the course of the next several months to pack, donate and let go
  • Daily Reminders– keep a decluttering mentality vs a hoarding one. If you’re so used to holding onto things ‘just because’ then invite the letting go mindset in. Here’s what you do: each day you write down a small area to declutter even if it’s just a drawer. You then act upon that every single day moving forward. It’s like brushing your teeth. You just do it
  • Don’t Think, Just Toss– I want you to stop thinking about whether you should keep something or not. If you’re not using it, throw it away immediately. This is non negotiable
  • Hold Yourself Accountable– Rather than being a procrastinator, put your best foot forward and know that this is the right thing to do for YOU. You are in charge of your entire life
  • 10 Minute Mini Challenges– Do a 10 minute clean up daily. Go through the entire house with a garbage bag tossing things that you don’t care or use anymore and then stop when 10 minutes is up. Do this every day for the next 30 days
  • Take Before and After Pictures– Snapping a photo of the before and after helps you establish this healthy relationship with cleaning, organizing and decluttering

Establishing A Healthy Relationship With ‘Things’

When we finally understand what it is that we want, we can then take action and do the little things every day moving forwards to establish a healthy relationship with our belongings.

  • Ditch The Hoarding Mentality – this sets us up for a wellness that only we can truly feel and be proud of once we get to that place. Give yourself a chance to be free from hoarding. Instead of getting the urge to shop, go on a walk or start writing in your journal. Embrace yourself with nature. Clean out the fridge. Declutter the kitchen cabinets. Adopt the clutter free mindset now.
  • Envision – think about the home and life you want more than ever. In these moments I want you to think about what it will feel like when you achieve this goal.
  • See The True Value – I often think that we over value items in our living space and this is something I’m working towards ; just letting go of it all. Honestly, if it doesn’t make us smile, why are we holding onto it? Simply because it was passed down or we fear the guilt of ditching something someone gifted us with? It’s irrelevant to our journey, so decide whether you want to keep it because it means something or it doesn’t mean anything at all. Is this item going to keep you moving forwards, not backwards. Are you able to add new things into your life with those “things”?
  • Have you ever heard the saying, “Keep your home clean just in case someone shows up?”

    If you’re someone who values relationships with others that are important in your life, and there’s a chance that person may stop over, what are you going to do when they show up unannounced? I’m not asking you because I want you to avoid them moving ahead. I want you to get into the habit of having tea and coffee dates at your own expense: living a life free from clutter without the worry of being judged.

    You’re not entitled to welcome them in, but I’m going to guess that this is something you’d like to work towards so that you can invite them in and feel oh so good about it.

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